Christian Jokes

 Everyone needs a laugh and a chuckle at times in life. It's good when its clean humour too! Found some safe and clean Christian jokes on the web to check out. Definatly not mocking or making fun of God or the bible, I think as Christians we can understand the background of most of these funny stories/jokes. Have at it!


 Between the Pages 

A little boy opened the big and old family Bible with fascination, and looked at the old pages as he turned them. Suddenly, something fell out of the Bible, and he picked it up and looked at it closely. It was an old leaf from a tree that had been pressed in between the pages. 
      "Momma, look what I found," the boy called out. 
      "What have you got there, dear?" his mother asked. 
      With astonishment in the young boy's voice, he answered: "I think it's Adam's suit!"


 The Deal 

A young boy had just gotten his driving permit. He asked his father, who was a minister, if they could discuss the use of the car. His father took him to his study and said to him, "I'll make a deal with you. You bring your grades up, study your bible a little and get your hair cut and we'll talk about it." 
      After about a month the boy came back and again asked his father if they could discuss use of the car. They again went to the father's study where his father said, "Son, I've been real proud of you. You have brought your grades up, you've studied your bible diligently, but you didn't get your hair cut!" 
      The young man waited a moment and replied, "You know Dad, I've been thinking about that. You know, Samson had long hair, Moses had long hair, Noah had long hair, and even Jesus had long hair…." 
      To which his father replied…."Yes, and they WALKED everywhere they went!"


 The Bible Answer 

A minister parked his car in a no-parking zone in a large city because he was short of time and couldn't find a space with a meter. So he put a note under the windshield wiper that read: "I have circled the block 100 times. If I don't park here, I'll miss my appointment. FORGIVE US OUR TRESPASSES." 
      When he returned, he found a citation from a police officer along with this note. "I've circled this block for 10 years. If I don't give you a ticket, I'll lose my job. LEAD US NOT INTO TEMPTATION."


  Biblical Songs 

      Noah: "Raindrops Keep Falling on My Head" 
      Adam and Eve: "Strangers in Paradise" 
      Lazarus: "The Second Time Around" 
      Esther: "I Feel Pretty" 
      Job: "I've Got a Right to Sing the Blues" 
      Moses: "The Wanderer" 
      Jezebel: "The Lady is a Tramp" 
      Samson: "Hair" 
      Salome: "I Could Have Danced All Night" 
      Daniel: "The Lion Sleeps Tonight" 
      Joshua: "Good Vibrations" 
      Peter: "I'm Sorry" 
      Esau: "Born To Be Wild" 
      Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego: "Great Balls of Fire!" 
      The Three Kings: "When You Wish Upon a Star" 
      Jonah: "Got a Whale of a Tale" 
      Elijah: "Up, Up, and Away" 
      Methuselah: "Stayin' Alive" 
      Nebuchadnezzar: "Crazy"

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published.

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.